Friday, July 22, 2011
Bust open the bubbly!
(Sparkling cider, please.)
We have cause for celebration.
I went to the Dr. for my 32 week appointment. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that I NEVER look at the scale when they weigh me. Never. Numbers, I hate them. I just don't want to know. I have a wild imagination and can take myself to not-so-friendly places about my body image. I know I am too hard on myself sometimes.
Now, this announcement may not be too exciting to many of you. But to me, I am joyful. The Dr. said that everything looked great and healthy, BUT he ALSO said, "You've gained 30 lbs. so far this pregnancy." I was so happy to hear that! I wanted to jump in the air and shout, but, lady that I am (heh, heh), I kept my cool . . . and my legs crossed. I'm used to hearing numbers in the 50's (THAT'S why I don't look at the scale).
When I committed to this exercise/water stuff, I was testing my body to see if anything different happened. If I STILL gained tons of weight, than I'd know it's just what my body does. If I didn't gain as much weight, than I'd know that I have to work really, really hard whenever I'm pregnant. Hello, you've been pregnant 4x already, shouldn't you have learned that by now? In my defense, I had so many needy little ones at once that I was just keeping my head above the water. I didn't have time to scrutinize my pregnancy history. I had noses to wipe, diapers to change, mouths to feed, etc. This four year spread has given me that time.
I still have 8 weeks left. A lot can happen in 8 weeks. BUT, I felt so hopeful that this postpartum bod will resume it's regular shape in a more timely manner than it has in the past. That I won't have to beat myself up so much. That there's a light at the end of the skin-stretched-jello-tummy tunnel.
I feel validated that my hard work is paying off. All my efforts aren't in vain . . . and I'm just really grateful.
You may think that I focus too much on this stuff, physical appearance. You may be right. But I know my history. I know how I feel after having babies. I know the emotional roller coaster I ride when things STILL don't fit (and my baby is 12 months old). And I don't like it. At all. I don't want to feel that way.
I'm a better mother, a happier mother, a healthier mother when I feel fit. THAT'S important to me. It's not for anyone else. I'm not aspiring for magazine covers (yeah, right). I want to feel beautiful (as a woman, I know I'm not alone in that desire), and by that, I mean a healthy beautiful. A realistic beautiful. A wholesome beautiful. Physical and emotional fitness go hand in hand for me. One affects the other. Balance.
Well, I feel like I should welcome you to the inner-workings of my soul:). You just had a taste of it. Can we STILL be friends:)?
at 1:05 PM