Monday, April 1, 2013


I turned 33 today.

(FYI: while I'm typing this, Ben is doing the Insanity Workout.  It sounds painful.  He asked if I wanted to join him.  I declined.)

I lay in bed this morning thinking that my mom was two years older than I am when she gave birth to me.  Every so often I see my life in parallel with my mom's and it's weird to think that she was ever an unsure mother with little kids doing her best not to screw them up.  I only knew The Mom that had it all together, probably because I'm the youngest.  

Now that I've birthed my own wee babes, I don't think we ever have it all together or know all the answers, but with time the day-in-day-out routines become second nature, which may appear to kids as having it all together.  I felt secure as a kid, knowing that if I forgot my lunch on the counter, Mom would stop by the school office later that morning, lunch in hand.  Every week she gave herself a manicure.  Every morning, before I was school-age, I'd watch her doing her hair and make-up.  Honestly, I don't EVER remember her not doing her hair or putting on make-up.  But what I learned from her wasn't about hair and make-up (heh, I have never used bright blue eye shadow).  My mom was balanced.  No extremes.  She prioritized well, did what was needful, and still found time to trim her cuticles and paint her nails.  She gave me a blueprint for a balanced life.  Bless her.  

I don't mind getting older.  I actually like being in my 30's, except for the fact that it hurts to do a round-off, it's unsightly to attempt the splits, and, well, forget a back bend.   Some things are better left in the 20's....

I'm excited when I think about the person I'm becoming.  I'm growing and stretching.  I'm learning to forget myself, to put others first.  I'm developing my mind.  I'm broadening my perspective.  I'm feeling comfortable in my own skin, appreciating who I am, however flawed.

I must have a lot of growing up to do.  I wasted so much time and energy in my teens and 20's worrying about body image, appearances.  It's nice to let go of that stuff, or, rather, to put it in proper perspective.  A beautiful mind is far more desirable than a pretty face.  A meaningful conversation is way cooler than a good hair day.  Sharing yourself, honestly, vulnerably, with another person is life-changing.

30's are good.


katieo said...

aw crap. I totally forgot your birthday yesterday!!
HEPPY BUH-THDAY!! (say it out loud. It's happy birthday Downton style.)

I like your introspective posts. I'm not nearly as self-aware as you are. But I really enjoy reading your thoughts. :)

(Remember when you turned FOURTEEN and could FINALLY go to stake dances?? That was a good one.)

Lanette said...

I'd rather not think about my teenage years, thank-you-very-much. All I have to say is, Thank you for being my friend through the slithering down of the chair in Sunday School to the Brian Knudson weirdness to the present. You've endured it well :). Cheers.

belliesue said...

Hello dear friend....I have cookie dough in the freezer waiting for you. I am sorry it didn't get delivered on the big day like I had hoped. Time goes so much faster than I do! You are beautiful through and through! Love ya!

belliesue said...

Happy Birthday (a few days late) my dear friend. I have cookie dough in my freezer waiting to be delivered. I had hoped to get it to you first think Monday morning, but time goes so much faster than I do. You are beautiful through and through. Love ya!

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