Thursday, May 5, 2011
Lots of info, vanity, and anticipation.
Thus begins my novella.
Pregnancy. It's been awhile. Things are different than they were before. I'm anxious to write down my feelings. This post may seem only interesting to me, but read along. You may laugh and you'll definately get a peek into the crazy workings of my brain.
Ben and I knew that we weren't done having kids. I haven't had that "feeling" yet, of completeness (and I still don't, but we'll see after Le Bebe comes in September). Here's my vanity: in deciding when to get pregnant I thought about one thing before all others. When would be the best time to have a baby and give myself a fighting chance to work on my body for a few months whilst donning sweatshirts and sweaters to mask the post-partum bod? This sounds shallow, I'm sure, but I've learned that if my body's in good shape so is my mentality, my emotions, etc.
Each pregnancy I've gained roughly 50lbs. I hate that, but, some bodies just gain more than others (which, by the way, is a gross injustice that I have taken to the Lord...but to no avail). Here's the catch: I've never had such a respite between pregnancies. Maybe this is my chance to stay somewhat trim IF I'm willing to work hard. My body's had ample time to recover from Annie's birth. I'm in shape. I started off at a good place (however, I'll never know for sure because I REFUSE to look at the scale at any of my appts. I'm better off not knowing). The odds are in my favor.
The first trimester, any thoughts of junk food made me sick...or, sick-er. I craved oranges and water. What I did most of all was sleep. That was the only way to make the nausea go away. I remember feeling so down, thinking to myself, I guess this is what I'll be like forevermore: a grouchy, impatient mom, who has no desire to even be around her kids. How many days in a week is it okay to have cereal for dinner? I really love Ben, but please, hugs only. It was sad. Needless to say, we're all very grateful to have me back. The Me that's cheerful. What a difference a smile can make.
Now I'm feeling good again. I have the energy to run. I've been really good about running 4x a week and I'm hoping to keep this up the whole pregnancy. My Dr. said I could run a marathon up until a few days before I deliver. HAH! I laughed and told him, "Well, Dr., I'm not that kind of girl. A few miles a day is good enough for me." All I wanted for my birthday was a quality bike (with those kid carriers you pull along behind) so I could vary my workouts. Luckily, my treadmill has been kind because our weather hasn't. We're just starting to have decent weather. I haven't had a bike since high school. I love it. AND, I love wearing a helmet (we never wore helmets) because it's kept my head warm...and, people can't really tell that it's me out there in tight pants, riding a bike with a teeny seat (that really isn't very comfortable). I don't even want to know what my rear-end looks like on a bike. SCARY.
I've discovered new ways to dress that are fun and stylish. I took out my old maternity clothes and, holy cow, NERDY! Do remember when overalls were the "in" thing? I whipped out some khaki overalls and died laughing. I thought I was so cool wearing those! The shirts are all so baggy and blah. The pants . . . don't even get me started! I have NEVER found a pair of maternity pants that I've loved, except one pair of black gouchos. I had to start again. Four years is a long time, styles change so much.
I've discovered the greatest thing. At our thrift store there's always these short dresses that fall just below a woman's bum (how do ladies wear those without indecent exposure, seriously?). I buy them and find a cute, thin belt to wear around my waist just below my bust, add leggings of some sort or tight jeans, boots, and I'm off, feeling very cute as my prego-self. Other staple outfits are long, fitted tees with cute cardigans or maxi dresses.
I haven't bought a maternity swimsuit yet. I don't really want to. BUT, I want to have a cute tan (see, vanity!). My legs are so unsightly when I'm pregnant (they're not much better when I'm NOT pregnant). Varicose veins, with a right ankle that swells and a left ankle that doesn't! Also, there's never enough support up top to be flattering unless you spend hundreds of dollars, and I'm not willing to do that for a suit I'll wear for a couple of months. Something I haven't missed is a large bosom. I HATE it (Ben doesn't) and it makes me feel big all over.
I think I'm done with my vanity-issues.
Here's what I'm excited about. With the other kids, I was so busy meeting every need, physically, emotionally. It's exhausting having lots of little kids, but I didn't know it because I was in the thick of it. This time will be different. The kids are older, independent, can tie their shoes and make meals. They're so excited to have a little body around to hold and love and play with. My mind only wants simplicity. I don't care so much about a stylish nursery or the latest high chair or stroller. I'm just grateful to be having a little baby. I can't wait for all the love that will come into our home with a precious, innocent little baby around. Sweet, little fella will probably be sleeping in a crib with celery-green flowered sheets that I used for Annie (that are too cute to use for only one baby). Ah well, does it really matter? No.
I think I better close this epistle. It's time to get on with life. Time to get out of these jammies and get to work. I've been working on some fun furniture makeovers. I'll post them soon. Also, I'll have to share my kitchen/living room makeover with you. Our ideas are solidified, we just have to buy the materials and we're off!
Have a wonderful day! I woke up this morning to a mama moose running through my backyard! Only in Idaho . . .
at 9:12 AM