This is dangerous territory. For a mother. But, the realities of life are inevitable. Darn it.
Why do children have to eat?
Three times a day?
Or more?
Why do children have to wear clothes?
Why do babies have to wear diapers?
And poop in them?
Why do children have to brush their teeth?
Why do children have to bathe?
Why do children have bedtimes?
Why do children need consequences for their choices?
In other words, I'm tired.
Sam discovered a love of cars yesterday!
As much as I love my eating-clothed-diapered-toothed-bathed (or not) children, sometimes it's hard. Plain and simple. I stood outside last night in a cool breeze and silence, thinking, Wow, this is the first time I've heard NOTHING all day long. (Well, not nothing. Nature speaks her own voice, but it's as peaceful as silence.) It felt so good.
I was reading and came across a story (click HERE for the full article) told by Ezra Taft Benson, about a young woman on her deathbed, who had sacrificed her own plans to care for her younger orphan brother. "She called for her bishop, and as she talked to him in her last moments, her held her rough, hard, work-calloused hand in his. Then she asked the question, 'How will God know that I am his?' Gently he raised her wrist and answered, 'Show him your hands.'"
I guess it's okay that my hands aren't perfectly manicured. In fact, they're a little unsightly if you look up close. A little dry, a little calloused in a couple of spots, nails of various lengths. But I've tried to do good with these hands. Some days, like yesterday, my good wasn't so great. I know by now that that's just the way it goes sometimes. Not that it makes it any easier, the knowing.
But, along the way, little moments come that make the bitter sweet. Like forgiving and being forgiven by a child, lifting him onto your lap, kissing his sweet, tan little shoulder, brushing away a tear on his little chest, and holding him as he snuggles into your arms.
"We love what we sacrifice for, and we sacrifice for what we love."
Yep. It's true.
5 comments:
Lanette! I got Enzio Busche's book and have DEVOURED it. Thank you so much for the recommendation. It has made a tremendous difference in the way I feel. So maybe yesterday your good wasn't great but the day before that? You were rockin! haha! no really. Looking back at this week I really feel like your phone call was a literal answer to prayer. Thanks for taking the time away from your little sacrifices. :)
Katie, I'm SO happy you like it!! That man is amazing, isn't he? I'm so grateful you're my friend. Really. I'm lucky to have you!
I am so grateful for the things I get to do for my children. This blog really keeps things in perspective for me:
sheldonandjulieo.blogspot.com
She lost her husband and only child in a horrible accident on her birthday.
we had a total of 7 poopie diapers today. sigh...
@ Reecy: I'll check it out...I always need a perspective check. I guess we all do:).
@ Heather: Ooooo...not fun in the least. I tell you what, too much fresh fruit can be a killer to my little guy. He has the sore bum to prove it. These poor little, overly-"regular" babies:)!
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