A couple more weeks 'til race day. I actually think I'll be ready. I haven't died yet (wanted to a couple of times, but this ol' heart is still beating).
One big thing I've learned in a new sort of way since training for this race is, "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." When I first toyed with the idea of running a half-marathon, I looked at the training schedule and towards the end I got a little scared. I couldn't imagine myself actually running all those miles...at one time. But little by little, I've stuck with the training, ran my weekly miles, put my shoes on (even when I didn't want to), and here I am.
I ran over ten miles today...and it felt natural! I know "natural" is a strange adjective for this, but I was at ease running, I was comfortable, my lungs could handle it. I WAS PREPARED. There was a time when running a well-paced three miles seemed daunting for my has-been athletic-self:).
I've proved to my stubborn brain that I can do SO much more than I thought I could. But it didn't happen over night. I had to work. Hard. And there's still more to be done. Twelve miles next Saturday. That makes me a little nervous, still.
This is a big deal to me because so often I get through things by the skin of my teeth. I procrastinate. But unless I wanted to humiliate myself, I couldn't just up and run 13.1 miles on a whim. Some people can. Not me. And I wouldn't allow myself to waste the $50 it cost to run this race. I used to laugh at that and think, Shouldn't they be paying US to run? Hah!
I've never been one who liked LONG projects. I've always wanted to start AND finish something in a matter of hours. The same day, if possible, or I'd never finish. There it would sit, for an eternity, in the back of some closet until I'd decide to give it to Goodwill for someone else to enjoy (and finish). I've always told people I'm not a Finisher. I like to plow through things fast so I can move on to something else new and exciting. That's been my take on a lot of things in life. So, I've had to do some major shifting of mentality to get to this point.
It's hard to change yourself. But you can.
I've learned that it's still okay for me to plow through some things, but I've found the joy in taking the time to work on something that's meaningful and of value to me, even and ESPECIALLY because it takes time. No doubt, it IS worth it.
On another note, Brigham biked the ENTIRE WAY in front of me, carrying my Camelbak and a cell phone...just in case I died along the way. I told him I felt like he was the cheese and I was a mouse. He kept me going. He was my constant. Bless that boy. I was so proud of him for sticking with me. It would've been a lonely road without him:).