I didn't think life would change so much with Sofie, our exchange student, living here. But it has.
I'm am totally being schooled. My life feels in flux right now because I'm learning so much about myself, my family, my life, my beliefs. And it's all because of Sofie. Not because SHE is challenging my thoughts, but, simply because having someone join our family who wasn't raised with me as her mother constantly makes me ask myself WHY? Why do I do what I do, believe what I believe, teach what I teach? I didn't question myself until she joined us in the "everydays" of our lives. I saw our family with new eyes.
(Speaking of "being schooled," we got Annie registered for Kindergarten today. Isn't she looking like a sassy schoolgirl?)
The first realization was the fact that we pray ALL THE TIME. Not that we sit around and pray all day, but, compared with the rest of the world, we're probably holy rollers! Wait, don't Muslims pray 5x a day? I guess we're like them. Family prayer morning and night, at mealtimes, personal prayer morning and night, if we have a problem, if we've lost a shoe...you get the picture. If I wasn't religious I'd be a little uncomfortable with all these prayers being thrown up to heaven:). I guess I'd never examined my life through skeptical eyes.
It's fascinating, really, exploring the motivations behind why we do the things we do, especially when they've become so commonplace that we rarely wonder anymore. Try it. Look at your life with fresh eyes. I guarantee you'll learn something.
I digress. My point. "I didn't think life would change so much with our exchange student living here. But it has." A teenager is BUSY. Here and there and EVERYWHERE. And if she's busy, I'm busy, because I'm the ride. I make the here and there possible. Not always, but more than I'm used to. And I don't mind. I just can't believe how fast the hours of the day come and go.
Here's a picture Annie snapped of me texting Sofie while--don't tell anyone--DRIVING. This is very unsafe. I know. Especially when you have a ghetto cell phone like I do, where you push "2" three times to get the letter "c" or "7" four times for an "s." Laugh at me, I'm a mess. I'm still learning how to juggle this new life of mine. I'm doing things I would normally never do. (And just so you know, I'm getting a new "modern" smartphone for this very reason...teenagers:))
By the end of the day I'm plain worn out. I think it's because I'm in transition. Still getting a feel for the new family dynamic. My mind is working more than it's used to:). My subconscious is sorting through the newness and making sense of it all.
I just want to feel normal again. I can't wait to feel normal again. I know it will come, eventually. Every day is progress. Every day I'm getting to know Sofie and she's getting to know me. I'm loving getting to know her. She is a high-caliber girl, very impressive, smart, wise, sarcastic, savvy. My heart grows fonder each day.
Truth be told, she probably thinks I'm a little too peppy. A little too chipper. She's given me "The Look." You know that look, like, they think you're the wierdest thing on this planet:). That makes me laugh. Once again, it's looking at myself in a new light, through different eyes. It's hilarious. But, that's me, and I guess there are worse things than living with an overly-chipper pseudo-mother, right?