Monday, March 19, 2012

An emotional purge.

I sat in the kitchen listening to an adaptation of "The Three Little Pigs" upstairs, only this time, the nemesis was a Big, Bad DRAGON.  William is entertaining Annie and her little friend, assuming the role of director and writer-of-screenplay.  Will never asks to have friends over, he'd rather let his siblings do all the work (inviting) and then he reaps the benefits.

Today was a blizzard.  I'm pretty much done with blizzards by MARCH (...or January). You'd think with only a few days left until spring Mother Nature would take it easy.  Seriously.  She's out to get me.  And it's working.

I fell off the running bandwagon last week.  I ran once.  I'm so disappointed.  And today I have zero motivation to run.  ZER-O.  Things are starting to pick up in my training, so if I get behind now, it'll be THAT much harder to stay on top of things from a stamina point of view.  I'm feeling weak, mentally.  Have you ever caught yourself doing EVERYTHING you can possibly think of EXCEPT the thing you really SHOULD be doing (running)?  Yeah, that's me today.  I believe it's called self-deception:).  I'm full of it.  I have to laugh at myself that I feel tricky about this. Who am I fooling?

Speaking of self-deception, did I mention that I love cookie dough?  Making chocolate chip cookies for the kids, I tell myself that it's purely out of love for them.  My proof that I'm a fun mom.  It's time to come clean.  My name is Lanette, and I "heart" cookie dough.  There you have it, I MAKE COOKIES FOR ME.

I didn't make our bed this morning.  If you knew me, you'd know that was a big deal.  

I've held Sam the entire day.  You'd think with my mad obsession with this boy that I'd LOVE holding him ALL DAY LONG.  Think again.  He has a cold and he's rolling over.  The rolling part is a problem because he gets so mad on his tummy.  His naps are basically non-existent because he rolls over, can't roll back, and screams!  Then my heart breaks and I rescue him.  His face is red, his nose a mess, desperate tears pouring down his cheeks and glistening teary eyes.  Sad, sad little baby.

I've never felt happier to have the big boys walk in the door from school.  They whisked Sam away and I haven't heard him fuss since.  That, my friends, is the blessing of children growing older.  They are such helpers.  How sweet it is.

I'm on the homestretch.  The day is nearly done.  If I can just make it through . . . and run, I will be one happy camper.  I think I can, I think I can . . . .


Janie said...

I have so had these days! I am sorry your adorable little man isn't feeling well! I also love having an older sibling to come home and help with the baby; benefits of a bigger family :)

Hope tomorrow is more motivating for you.

jenifer said...

And you sounded so dreamy this morning... All " Annie and her friend are making puffy paint shirts and playing in the snow" fun mom. Sorry Sammy is sick... There is not a blizzard by my house and I still have no desire to exercise except for the fact that I hate my fat face in every picture i see of myself. You went running ONCE last week and you're still nursing you NEW baby. Amazing!

Lanette said...

It's amazing what thoughtful friends can do to an "emotionally purging" soul:).

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