Thursday, January 27, 2011
I should've been a cow.
Annie and I went to a class that allows children to experience music using all their senses. I was reminded how much little ones need the freedom to express themselves creatively in a safe and uplifting environment. Annie delighted in moving and singing and listening with her little body.
In stark contrast, we were driving home, passing a snowy field with cows nosing along a trail of hay. You could see the steam coming from their mouths. I thought to myself how glad I was that we weren't cows! Our life is beautiful: joys, sorrows, pleasure, pain, all the opposites that give life its fulness. And there they stood in the cold, calves by their side [cow or not, motherhood is motherhood], eating. What else would they do that day? Eat some more, walk around, try to stay warm. I'm sure they didn't feel wanting, but just the same, I'm so grateful to be a person, not a cow.
Maybe I should've been a cow, however, after what happened today! I pretty much earned the Mom-with-Good-Intentions-Gone-Absolutely-Awry Award. I thought it'd be fun to hide around the corner of our entryway and scare Lincoln when he got home from Kindergarten. He loves to sneak up on me and scream. Well, he walked in, Annie and I were silent, he took a few more steps and AHHHHHH, we screamed and flailed our arms like crazy people. The poor kid was stunned. He paused then started to cry the saddest whimpering sobs. An I-can't-believe-you-did-that-to-me cry. Betrayal. I about died. At first, I didn't think he was serious. Lincoln is the tough as nails kind. Then he crumbled into my waist. So repentant, I rocked and rocked him on my lap for about 5 minutes. Stupid mom, stupid mom, I said to myself as I rocked back and forth. He was so forgiving, and I was still stunned that I made my own child cry. Poor fella, poor mom. Forgiveness was so sweet after my retarded mistake [I seem to make a lot of those].
Needless to say, I was full of love, love, love the rest of the day. I was determined not to make any more of my children cry. Thankfully, I did it. No tears. Phew.
at 9:32 PM