One.

One year ago is still vivid in my memory, and it's not all roses (i.e. nurses on my bad list...whom I've since forgiven), but I think I got the better end of the deal.  This baby!  Oh, this baby!

Adding a new little body changes family dynamics.  Evolution, family style.  A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form (thank you, online dictionary).  This is true for us.

Having a wee one was different this time around.  I felt support on all sides.  Not that there wasn't support before, just that being a young mother can feel lonely and uncertain sometimes.

Where it was once ME taking care of MANY babies, now it's ALL OF US taking care of ONE baby.  Big difference.  FANTASTIC difference.  It's like a bowl of freshly-cut peaches and cream (can you tell I have peaches on the brain?  and under my nails and in the cracks of my skin, and on my clothes...)

There's a season for everything.  Realizing that we wanted a big family and I didn't want to be having kids in my forties, we had them young and relatively close together.  Than I reached my limit, took a 4.5 year break, and felt ready for more.

What a difference a few years can make!  In my desperate moments I didn't think there was a light at the end of the mother-of-young-children tunnel.  But there is!  And it's wonderful to get there.  There?  Heh, my oldest is only ten (for a coupla weeks more)!  All of my kids are still young, BUT, but, but, without the need to change, feed, cloth, wipe, lift, etc....and that makes a BIG difference.

Don't get me wrong.  Having little ones is awesome.  Seriously.  I wouldn't do it differently.  But it was/is so hard too.  Growth is hard.  By that I mean learning to forget yourself.  I had A LOT of growing to do.  I still have a lot of growing to do.  And believe me, I have to choose to forget myself a thousand times every day.  All you naturally selfless people can pat yourselves on the back.  Darn you...and good job. 

It gets easier.  Forgetting myself.  And it feels good.  And one day, waaayyy down the road, I'm hoping that forgetting won't have to be a conscious choice, that it will just be a part of who I am. Because there's a little voice in my head, and probably in most of our heads, that tells us THIS is the better way.  As important as we are, we aren't nearly as important as we think we are.

So, in review, babies are good.  Kids make pretty amazing teachers.  And you're never too old to become better.