Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Just a thought.

I had a thought pass casually through my mind tonight.  I surprised even myself.  The kids were tucked in bed, it was dark, quiet, and I sat in the kitchen untying the double knots in Annie's shoes.  Sounds pretty normal, right?  I was totally relaxed in my mundane task, and thought to myself, "It feels so good to have someone to take care of."  
I say that I surprised myself because the thought came naturally and simply.  Not that I think I'm a bad person, that I've never had a good thought pass through my brain before, it's just that--and I hate admitting this--often there's a selfish little voice in my head that whispers to me and I have to exert real effort not to indulge it.  

The fact that this thought came in a quiet moment, alone with myself, was proof to me that this IS the person I'm becoming.  These unselfish yearnings ARE part of me, and, ever-so-slowly, are pushing aside the tendencies to focus on myself.
I was relieved to think that, indeed, there is hope for my selfish little soul.  I CAN overcome my selfishness and replace it with something better.  It's happening already, little by little.  It's amazing, the loads of hope that come from one little thought.


jenifer said...

I thought the same thing on my drive home! As we were singing, "the ants go marching two by two" with gusto. I thought, "I love this! I'm so glad I have kids so I can sing these silly songs again!"
It is a good plan!

And, I have to tell you, I am addicted to pepper now! It makes me laugh because I recently thought pepper was a waste of the salt and pepper shakers. Nothing like conversion by testimony!

Jilene said...

It was so fun to see you! Wish we could have come play games that last night. :( We were up late packing. Way less fun.

Lanette said...

Jilene, YES, it was so fun to visit with you, too. It doesn't happen often enough, does it? We'll have to have a late night visit when you're up again...but then you'll have a new babe and you won't want to stay up late:)!

Jen, I'm SO happy to share a love of pepper with you! I can't explain what it is, but there's definately something to it:).

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