I had a thought pass casually through my mind tonight. I surprised even myself. The kids were tucked in bed, it was dark, quiet, and I sat in the kitchen untying the double knots in Annie's shoes. Sounds pretty normal, right? I was totally relaxed in my mundane task, and thought to myself, "It feels so good to have someone to take care of."
I say that I surprised myself because the thought came naturally and simply. Not that I think I'm a bad person, that I've never had a good thought pass through my brain before, it's just that--and I hate admitting this--often there's a selfish little voice in my head that whispers to me and I have to exert real effort not to indulge it.
The fact that this thought came in a quiet moment, alone with myself, was proof to me that this IS the person I'm becoming. These unselfish yearnings ARE part of me, and, ever-so-slowly, are pushing aside the tendencies to focus on myself.
I was relieved to think that, indeed, there is hope for my selfish little soul. I CAN overcome my selfishness and replace it with something better. It's happening already, little by little. It's amazing, the loads of hope that come from one little thought.