Just a thought.

I had a thought pass casually through my mind tonight.  I surprised even myself.  The kids were tucked in bed, it was dark, quiet, and I sat in the kitchen untying the double knots in Annie's shoes.  Sounds pretty normal, right?  I was totally relaxed in my mundane task, and thought to myself, "It feels so good to have someone to take care of."  

I say that I surprised myself because the thought came naturally and simply.  Not that I think I'm a bad person, that I've never had a good thought pass through my brain before, it's just that--and I hate admitting this--often there's a selfish little voice in my head that whispers to me and I have to exert real effort not to indulge it.  

The fact that this thought came in a quiet moment, alone with myself, was proof to me that this IS the person I'm becoming.  These unselfish yearnings ARE part of me, and, ever-so-slowly, are pushing aside the tendencies to focus on myself.

I was relieved to think that, indeed, there is hope for my selfish little soul.  I CAN overcome my selfishness and replace it with something better.  It's happening already, little by little.  It's amazing, the loads of hope that come from one little thought.