Tuesday, June 5, 2012

My wrestle.

Last night, Ben and I hung out on our patio while the kids attempted death-defying acrobatics on the semi-safe, hanging-by-a-screw swing set.  Wow, that sounds like a recipe for disaster, doesn't it?  I've come to the conclusion that my boys thrive in "recipe for disaster" moments.  Call me crazy, but it makes the little cogs in their brains turn with creativity and, well, laws of physics.  And yes, I do try to be present/nearby/observing when laws of physics are, indeed, tested.  My eyes and ears are trained to the precursors of said activities.  I think it's become more instinctual over time :).

I digress.

....Hanging out on the patio.  Ben was doing paperwork while I read, basking in the dusky sunlight.  I decided I needed to spend a little more time in the Good Books these days because I need an attitude adjustment.  Ben started working at the Rexburg Temple (click HERE if you don't know what that is) on Fridays.  I know I should be grateful. 

I shouldn't have thoughts like, On Ben's day off why did he choose to work at the temple, smack-dab in the middle of the day, 9-4pm?  That was our day to get stuff done, leave on family trips, take care of the yard, be together, etc.  Especially with the kids out of school, we could have SO MUCH FUN!  But no.  It becomes just like every other day.  Bummer. (Remember: I am a fun-seeker through and through.)

By this point, I'm waiting for my evil-but-normal-self to be struck by lightning.  And I'm humbled by Ben's response, "Netty, we need the blessings, don't we?"  Okay, he's right.  I should be grateful that he's choosing to spend his time in meaningful, WONDERFUL ways.  I guess I'm just a little jealous that it's him and not me (deep down, that's the real reason).

During his interview with the temple president, he was told that because he has such a young family he needs to include us in his service by gathering us together and sharing his experiences.  I guess I'll take secondhand temple experiences :).  Since I've had Sam, my temple attendance has been sporadic.  It's time to immerse myself a little more, get back to a consistent schedule again.  I need it.

(My goofy face, but oh, those fellas...they are SWEET.)

When you're used to having something that you TOTALLY look forward to--like Ben's day off--it's a little harder to let it go.  But, I'm going to let it go.  I'm going to look at Fridays like another work day for Ben, so I'm not sitting at home sulking, being a martyr, wishing it was me instead.  We'll have fun while Ben earns the blessings :).  Hah, it's a win/win, right?!  

I'll let you know if I come off conqueror of my evil-twin self who doesn't want her husband to do good things!  What a wrestle.   


Honey said...

We are so much alike - I wrestle with those kinds of things, too. It's tough. I'm grateful for a husband that is so willing to serve, but sometimes it's hard for ME not to complain.

Ryan has been working in the temple for about 7 years now and I can't wait until I can. Time and season, right? :)

Lanette said...

YES, time and season...you are SO right, Hon!

belliesue said...

Let's make arrangements to go up together or trade kiddos to help each other bask in the light.

Katie The Lady said...

You are definitely speaking my language! I too, need to do much better.

I used to go every Wednesday morning at 6:00am with a group of friends. It was so wonderful to go weekly. But a few of us had babies and another moved away, so we stopped. How I miss those early mornings! I just never go anymore- I should though, but when I have a free moment away from the kids, the last place I think of going is the Temple (sadly).

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