(A Light Unto the Gentiles, Greg Olsen)
I know that every parent has a moment like this. Moments, plural. I want so much for my kids to understand the true meaning of Christmas. I can't blame them. I'm sure I acted the same way. It's a fact: Christmas is EXCITING. I agree.
We had family home evening tonight. I hoped for THIS moment: calm children, watching, listening, participating as we talked and sang about Jesus, His birth, giving our gifts to Him. Instead it was bedlam.
Annie cried 85% of the time.
William was a gem.
Lincoln kept talking about the root beer floats we were to have after it was over.
Part of our evening, we watched a couple of the YouTube Christmas clips put out by our Church and I just cried and cried--I loved them. Why can't my kids cry, too? I know. That's unreasonable. I just hoped too hard for a glimmer of awe from the little guys tonight.
They can tell me the Christmas story by heart. They know the facts. I want them to know the feelings. The power comes from the feelings. Peace, joy, love, gratitude...so much gratitude.
I haven't given up. I know there will be more "moments" just like this one. Yet, there's a little seed inside each one of them that's growing, a seed of faith, faith in Christ. If I can just keep helping them nurture that delicate, little seed until they can take over...
It's so hard sometimes.
It's so frustrating sometimes.
But, every so often, I see it:
a new sprout.
And that makes all the difference.
(This may sound weird, but I just wrote myself out of my despairing mood. Does that ever happen to you? It's interesting how posts evolve as you write them, like they have a mind of their own.)