Monday, December 14, 2009

I wish...

(A Light Unto the Gentiles, Greg Olsen)

I know that every parent has a moment like this.  Moments, plural.  I want so much for my kids to understand the true meaning of Christmas.  I can't blame them.  I'm sure I acted the same way.  It's a fact: Christmas is EXCITING.  I agree. 
We had family home evening tonight.  I hoped for THIS moment: calm children, watching, listening, participating as we talked and sang about Jesus, His birth, giving our gifts to Him.  Instead it was bedlam. 
Annie cried 85% of the time. 
Brigham whined. 
William was a gem. 
Lincoln kept talking about the root beer floats we were to have after it was over. 

Part of our evening, we watched a couple of the YouTube Christmas clips put out by our Church and I just cried and cried--I loved them.  Why can't my kids cry, too?  I know.  That's unreasonable.  I just hoped too hard for a glimmer of awe from the little guys tonight.

They can tell me the Christmas story by heart.  They know the facts.  I want them to know the feelings.  The power comes from the feelings.  Peace, joy, love, much gratitude.  

I haven't given up.  I know there will be more "moments" just like this one.  Yet, there's a little seed inside each one of them that's growing, a seed of faith, faith in Christ.  If I can just keep helping them nurture that delicate, little seed until they can take over...
It's so hard sometimes. 
It's so frustrating sometimes.
But, every so often, I see it:
a new sprout.
And that makes all the difference.

(This may sound weird, but I just wrote myself out of my despairing mood.  Does that ever happen to you?  It's interesting how posts evolve as you write them, like they have a mind of their own.)      


Ashton & Co. said...

I love the "toy" post down below. She is so cute! I have the same thoughts as you when it comes to Christmas with kids. I know it will be easier for these kinds of things when they get older! hang in there!

Rebekah said...

Yeah. Christmas.
They will get it eventually--I debated no gifts to them--just giving to others, but. . . I don't think that will get them on my team just yet.
10 days to Christmas--the boys say it is too long, I say it isnt' long enough.
I don't want the "magic" to end:
lit Christmas tree, pine-scented candle,dreaming up all the traditions I will start in future Christmas', . . . *Notice I didnt say "Christmas music"--this I keep around all year long.

Unknown said...

Yay! Im so glad you were able to make a signature, even though i have no idea how i helped. But it looks great! You are such a good mom. I hope i will be as diligent of a teacher as you are :)

Honey said...

Keep doing what you're doing and they'll get it. don't worry. We watched the Spirit of Christmas last night for FHE, too.

Yayi said...

At least you got to have FHE!! Once in Mexico, when Eric had just been called to serve in the bishopric and I was going nuts, a lady told me that it is not our time to learn anymore. I responded to her that I did not feel that my kids were learning either!! and she said, yes they are. They are learning that coming to church is essential, that having FHE is important, and that having a testimony of the greatness of this work is what will lead them to happiness someday. So, I pass that to you!!!
Love you,

Kathy said...

i hope one day they will get it. but it's like you said - when you were a kid, you KNEW the truth, but you still loved the excitement more, eh? they'll grow into the true spirit of christmas. that's how i feel anyway. i guess if my kids turn out like heathens, i'll change my tune :)

Debbie and Bobby said...

You describe my feelings just about every Sabbath and FHE. I just keep trying to tell myself that consistancy is the key, Debbie. (we watched about 15 of those youtube clips today too)

RaeLynn said...

I feel exactly what you are describing. Just today I asked Cole why we celebrate Christmas and he said "because Santa comes!!" and in all of his prayers he thanks God for Santa and the reindeer. Having said that--I can see his little budding testimony that Jesus is a real person and that he loves us and died for us. Here's hoping that we're not totally screwing up our kids, huh?

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